It is well and good to pray to God to show you who your are meant to marry but it is your job to open your eyes and prepare for love. It is well and good to pray for God to send you your true love but when that true lover comes, it is your role to engage and grow that love. It is well and good to fast and pray for your marriage but when you rise to your feet from prayer, it is your role to work on your marriage; God will not blow into your relationship and suddenly things work out in your lovelife, God doesn’t work in a vacuum, God requires to work through you two in making your marriage work. That relationship, that marriage is your responsibility, praying for it is not enough, you must work at it. Don’t spend hours hiding in religious buildings crying to God to help your home, when God and your spouse need you to spend more time making God reign in your house.

God can bring you the right person for marriage but you mess it up because you are ill-prepared and all you’ve been doing is praying not working on yourself as you pray. Just because you pray for your marriage doesn’t mean your marriage will be well. Praying doesn’t mean you become passive but that you actively cultivate your marriage even as you lean on God.

Marriage is a God-given idea but it is a human undertaking; it is possible to have a strong relationship with God but have a failed marriage simply because you don’t know how to relate with a fellow human; it’s possible to feel that God is the only one on your side and everyone, even your spouse is against you and yet the problem is that you failed in nurturing human relationships. Let God teach you how to relate with your spouse.

Some over-spiritualize marriage and say, “Don’t go after looks” but looks are important. Just like God gave you a tongue with taste, God also gave you eyes that get stimulated by certain visuals. So marry someone who is yummy to you, it is that person you will wake up to every morning. God gave you desires and God will grant you the desires of your heart. For this reason, even when married, for the health of your marriage, work on keeping the right figure, grooming yourself, dressing up and staying visually stimulating for your spouse.

Some say “Don’t marry for sex” . Sex should be one of the reasons you get married but not the only reason. Sex is God’s gift and none should be ashamed of their sexual appetite. Your hardness, your wetness is God given and meant to be enjoyed in marriage, so marry someone who is your kind of sexy. How do we expect people to stay faithful yet belittle the value of sex in marriage? Your body is sexy for a reason- to be enjoyed exclusively by your spouse.

Marriage has a romantic side; when you two go out on dates, you cannot be saying “Praise God” and talking about the Scriptures all through, you must learn to communicate, learn to say “I love”, “You look beautiful”, learn to melt each other’s hearts and open up as humans.

Marriage has a sensual side; besides lifting your hands up in prayer, your hands must learn how to touch each other, how to cuddle and hug. You must learn how to kiss and give each other warmth.

Marriage has a financial side; whether the person you choose to marry has money at the beginning or not, you two as a couple must come up with a plan and allow God to give you the power to create wealth. Your human bodies must eat, must have a home, must have material needs met. No parent no matter how strong their faith, wants to raise their child in poverty.

Marriage has a sexual side; babies will not be conceived by prayers, orgasms will not be reached by spiritual maturity, you must make love. Since you are going to make love, explore each other’s body fully, discover everything about sex, reach every pleasure God has hidden inside your bodies.

Marriage has a parenthood side; praying for your children is not enough to be a parent, you must engage and be hands on with your young ones. Knowing God’s word and telling it to your children is not enough, you must talk with your children, laugh with them, be present, be human, be real.

Marriage has a physical side; your body is your responsibility, you cannot feed your body trash then expect good health. You decide what is eaten in your home.

Marriage has a social side; people don’t become close merely through prayers and faith, people must interact and talk. Make time with your spouse, ask questions, pay attention, your spouse is more than a spiritual being.

We often think God is only interested in our spiritual life yet God cares about our social, sexual, intellectual, physical, emotional, financial and material life too; God wants to give you an abundant marriage so don’t over-spiritualize things and ignore other aspects that contribute to a healthy human union.

Faith shouldn’t blind you from the other human needs, instead, it should guide you in navigating those needs. The spiritually young desperately search for miracles in their marriage as their marriage is imbalanced; but the spiritually mature apply Godly principles expecting Godly and right results, the spiritually mature know it is God’s will for them to take care of their spouse in a wholistic way, not just the spiritual.

© Cantona Group Ltd