HOW TO RECEIVE LOVE

Are you struggling to receive love when people want to be there for you? Consider the following

1. CHECK YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
   How were your relationships when you were a child? Did you grow up feeling rejected, neglected alone, as if you had to earn love? This kind of childhood can make you not to expect love from anyone. Unlearn this notion brought by your nurturing, if you need to, seek therapy. Just because you were not loved then, doesn’t mean you cannot be loved now
2. FORGIVE THE PEOPLE WHO FAILED TO LOVE YOU
   If you expected someone to love you in the past such as a parent, a sibling, a romantic partner or friend… and they made you feel unworthy of love, forgive them. Otherwise, your grudge against them will make you repel people are not them that want to love you
3. SEE THE GOOD IN YOU
   Get to appreciate, celebrate and love yourself… despite your mistakes, shortcomings or how you were treated in the past. Failing to do so will make you not understand why someone would see good in you and want to love on you. Many times we struggle to receive love, because we actually don’t love ourselves
4. SEE PEOPLE AS GOD’S VESSEL
   Are you praying for God to bless you, well, God doesn’t work in isolation, God uses people as vessels of honour. God will send people your way to minister to you and bless you, so you pushing them away or isolating yourself is actually you fighting God and your prayers. Remember, God is love and He loves best through people
5. REFLECT ON HOW IT FEELS TO BE THERE FOR PEOPLE
   Have you been there for someone? It felt good, right? So why would you deny other people from feeling good by being there for you? Stop being selfish, others deserve the joy they get by giving to you
6. STOP SEEING YOURSELF AS A BURDEN
   If you have been made to think that needing help or someone wanting to make you smile is being a burden to them, then change that mindset
7. STOP BEING SUSPICIOUS OF PEOPLE WITHOUT CAUSE
   Avoid judging people as wrong or fake and yet they haven’t done any wrong. You wouldn’t want someone to judge you. Or you think you are the only good person in the world and every else is bad? That shows ego and conceitedness
8. INTERROGATE YOUR DEFINITION OF LOVE
   If you have a twisted sense of love where you believe everyone who does good does so for a selfish agenda, then heal. Love requires both giving and taking. Don’t be so good at giving, but poor at receiving
9. LEARN TO BE GRATEFUL
   When someone does good to you or compliments you, be grateful for it. Stop questioning, pushing back or returning it; say “Thank you for your kindness”. This way you train yourself to receive
10. LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP
    Stop suffering in silence, if you need something, ask. This will teach you to make room. Stop saying no on behalf of people, some people in your life would love to say yes
11. STOP TRYING TO BE INDEPENDENT
    Forget the lie that the goal is to be independent, the goal is to grow and be human. We were created to need each other. No one has the monopoly of wisdom, resources, ideas or strengths. There is beauty in lacking in one area or another, for in that way, we value each other
12. DON’T LET YOUR LOVE REVOLVE AROUND ONE INDIVIDUAL
    Avoid idolizing someone and they become the center of your universe. Overreliance on one person to be your only source of human interaction can put a lot of pressure on them and will lead to a heartbreak when he/she lets you down since they are human. Even if you are married, let your spouse be your priority but have friends, have other conversations and interactions that build you in various ways and remind you many people in life treasure you
13. STOP THINKING THAT SOMEONE WHO GENUINELY LOVES YOU WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU
    Some people struggle to receive love because they think if they do, they will get comfortable and be hurt in future so they guard up. See those people who genuinely care for you as human who are not perfect but also growing and might disappoint you one way or another. Give grace for bonds to grow. Stop being an absolutist thinking that if someone who gives you love offends you in one or another then you cut yourself off instead of talking things out and building the bond. #TheHeartBeatofAfrica