I have been asked this question several times and this is my answer.
When I was seeking a friend and a relationship with a man I had an age limit. I was looking for a man between the ages of 35 (which was my age at the time) and 50. I have never dated anyone younger than me. I have always been boring, an introvert, and a mother since I was 18. Before that I helped raise my brothers and sisters. I just did not have time to date and did not know how to handle the opposite sex. It was all trial and error for me. The 8 years after the end of my first marriage and meeting my 2nd husband was helpful for me. I knew what I did not want in a man. As I dated my husband, I had time, which I used to make sure that I was making the right decision.

When I met my husband, I was 36 and he was 50. We have been married for 21 years. This is for all of you asking about our age difference.

Whatever I am going to share here is what I think, and what I have witnessed, and what I have read. I believe strongly that you can get a partner who is younger than you and have a great and fulfilling relationship. I believe that you can get a partner who is not your age, tribe, religion, race, or culture, and you can end up having a great relationship. It is what the two of you decide from the onset. It is how much both of you are committed to making the relationship work. It is how connected both of you are to each other and your priorities.

The man can be older, or the woman can be older, or you could be the same age, it does not matter. What matters is what the two of you have an agreement, a partnership of love and life and are committed to each other.

Advantages of marrying a younger man can include the following:

1. Women become more comfortable with themselves as they age, and they become more confident and communicate their feelings better with age. Therefore, their sex lives become better with age. Combined with a younger man’s stamina and endurance they may have a great sex life together.
2. Some men already have children and are not looking for women of childbearing age because they do not want to have more children. They will therefore look for older woman. Someone to share the rest of their life with. These men are ready for a long and committed relationship like marriage. You will also not be burdened by trying to have another child if you do not want to have more children or any children.
3. Some men do not want petty drama that comes with younger women and therefore would like an older woman who is stable and mature.
4. For some people dating and marrying someone older is mysterious and fun and the attraction may have been there before they even knew about the age difference. When they discover that one is significantly older, too bad, they are already in love with one another. So, they continue to pursue their relationship.
5. Some women like the fact that younger men are more adventurous, have less baggage, and are more enthusiastic about enjoying life.

Disadvantages are:

1. People will talk and be judgmental and this may interfere with the relationship. It may be difficult to bring him to meet your family. If the age difference is significant, your children may question the intention in the relationship and his family may not be welcoming to you.
2. There may be generational differences in tastes like music and other things.
3. You may find yourself playing the motherly role to your husband leading to unequal power dynamics. As women sometimes our maternal instinct kicks in and we start treating anyone younger than us like they were our children. If you are dating a younger man, be aware of this and never to treat him like a child especially if you want your relationship to remain romantic and independent. Do not overstep your boundary and become a caregiver to your husband, unless he is sick and needs care.
4. Be sure the man does not want children if you are already past childbearing age. If there is any inclination that he may want to have children, then your marriage will not last. He may leave you and seek a younger woman who will give him children. On the other hand, both of you can look at other options of having children like adoption, IVF, or surrogacy.
5. Your goals may be different due to the age gap. Do you share the same lifestyle, values and goals? Your different views of life, priorities, and the world can lead to obvious incompatibility. Are you both interested in marriage?
6. Some men are interested in long term relationships and not marriage because they had a difficult experience with their first marriages. Make sure you are both on the same understanding about the kind of relationship you want.

At the end of the day if you find someone who understands you, loves you, is ready to commit, and you feel that your needs and wants are being met in the relationship, then there is no reason why you should not habe aware of the stigma our society still puts on women dating younger me.

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